(finally) Two reflective encapsulations of 2017:
reflective encapsulation #1
My life (in very real, concrete, unforced fashion) fulfilled these words of Jesus more than I ever imagined happening to me:
From Luke 14 (NASB)
26 “If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. 27 Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.”
From Matthew 10 (NLT)
37 “If you love your father or mother more than you love me, you are not worthy of being mine; or if you love your son or daughter more than me, you are not worthy of being mine.”
Burned in my mind are pictures throughout 2017 of my wife, two sons, and three daughters, each in their own age-appropriate way, raging in broken tears over the wreckage brought to seven lives in the pursuit of saving one.
My own most recent breakdown was last Sunday. I lay on the dining room floor crying over how much I’ve missed in Enoch’s life. He graduates this year!
Jesus? HOW do you love Everett (or me, for that matter) ALL the time? I don’t understand…
I never intended for my family to be sacrificed this much on the altar of responding to the Kingdom’s call.
Yet I would accept it again. Because this seismic change, though completely God’s idea, was not brought about at the point of a gun. We have a love relationship; He knew he didn’t have to.
Of course, I would rather have been spared this cup, this way. But our rock is this: out of Wreck, we know, comes Redemption of many kinds. And God is writing a story bigger than the part we can see right now.
And great news is coming (verse 39):
“If you give up your life for me, you will find it.”
It’s in the low times that all I see is that awful future tense.
Kyrie eleison.
reflective encapsulation #2
His eye is on the sparrow, and I KNOW he watches me.
I opened 2017 unemployed and found work at a hardware store three months in. So, for nine months last year I worked full time at $15/hr and brought home $20,000. Anyone knows that a family of eight (even without three ravenous teens) cannot live in city America on $20,000 per annum.
Yet here we are. And that’s without food stamps, WIC, Medicaid, or State help of any kind (not that we wouldn’t, we just haven’t) except free lunches at the kids’ schools.
So exactly how much gift money did we get? I ran a report to see.
Oddness of all oddnesses, “Gift Money for 2017” also totaled exactly $20,000.
From dozens of people. Some extremely unexpected. Money just kept showing up, and basically (other than that little summer GoFundMe) without us doing any asking.
Amazing.
However, even $40,000 isn’t quite a livable salary for a family of our size, and we had to eliminate all optionals and many other expenses that you (and usually we) would consider budget essentials. Instead, we were buoyed by grocery store gift cards, scholarships for the girls’ dance, gifted city-league soccer, free babysitting, free gas, free turkeys, many treats to cups of coffee, discounted work on our roof, discounted work on the house painting, free machines, free work on machines, money for airplane tickets, my motorcycle!, free bags of clothes, Christmas gifts from church and school, on and on. It was still never enough, yet somehow there was enough.
I’ve never been through anything like it. It would be fine with me if it never happened again.
But whatever the future may hold, 2017 will forever be The Year of the Lord’s Provision.
Jody, I hate looking for pictures for blogs. Tammy’s like, “What? is this picture of Jody doing here?”
It’s supposed to look like a person “looking back” (on the year). It was the first thing that came to my mind and I opened the library and found it in literally 5 seconds by total luck. Your royalty check will be in the mail.
Dann,
I remember reading this in Aug. 2016 – [the kids] won’t be starting the year in the same schools they’ll finish. In other words, instead of one big transition, they’ll have two.
Did they have that 2nd transition or have you been in the same place since Aug. of 2016?
Beth
Beth, I never did update that here in this blog, I don’t think. Thanks for asking!
Here’s what happened:
We made a sudden and unexpected (at the time of writing that) decision to uproot from our free housing and move to a different town about an hour and a half away. I had a job prospect, though that never did pan out. We moved once more time about 6 months after arriving, BUT it was within the same town. SO, the kids HAVE been in the same schools for 2 years. Isn’t that such an amazing blessing?
Furthermore, the Lord has just recently made it quite clear just why he did call us to this particular place… ALMOST ready to share that news publicly here. Stay tuned! 😉
Yes, a move is a move. But your community has been the same. So there was that stability. Yes, that was a blessing for you!
I think that as you have gone forward these past several years, the changes have seemed not to make sense. And I think that as you have opportunity to look back in the next several years, the changes and places you have landed will be just where you needed to be.
May you know strength, courage, and joy!
Ah, another profile shot comes back to inspire once more…perhaps “haunt” might be a better term? 😉
That’s too funny you found this. I’m grateful and honored to be part of the post!
The true irony is that we are in the middle, in some ways (though I don’t pretend all or to the same extent), a similar road. Another little reminder from God. Wherever that picture was taken even looks just like the field beside our current house.
“I am the One Who teaches you what is best for you and leads you in the way you should go.”
Thank you for sharing that. All pain is pain, and comparison only meaningless.
What a comfort (in our better moments–grieving and questioning have their places, too, of course) to choose to sit back and let Him drive…
I messaged you the pic in its original, unflipped form. Recognize it now?
I just read this following this morning, from I Peter 2:
“…if you suffer for doing good and endure it patiently, God is pleased with you.
“For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps.”
I find it telling that you have named 2017 the Year of the Lord’s Provision, when you could just as easily (and rightly!) called it the Year of the Cross. These two are tightly woven together in the life of a disciple, aren’t they? There is no resurrection without there first being a cross — and we can be assured there is no cross we carry that is not certain to be followed by a bounty of never-ending life.
Thanks for your encouraging words and an example of living that I regularly learn from and strive to emulate.
Isn’t Peter the best when it comes to suffering?
Jeff, I cannot say enough what a blessing it is to read your response. Wow. Thank you for such gracious, godly, encouraging, words.
Love your observation about cross and resurrection. I remember discovering during the Lily years (the book I wrote) how the closer I got to Love and to Pain the more indistinguishable they came. Just an offshoot of this cross/resurrection truth, doesn’t it seem.
Blessings!
Oh, and Jeff, “Year of the Cross” was already taken. 2016 (by far) was suffering beyond anything 2017 held. So there’s that to be thankful for.
Some things that He has given me as I go through my darkest season:
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. (1 Peter 5:10, ESV)
10 But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold.
11 My foot has held fast to his steps; I have kept his way and have not turned aside.
12 I have not departed from the commandment of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my portion of food.
13 But he is unchangeable, and who can turn him back? What he desires, that he does.
14 For he will complete what he appoints for me, and many such things are in his mind. (Job 23:10, ESV)
MacArthur:
Job 23:14 he will complete what he appoints for me. Job’s resignation to God’s sovereignty faltered at times in practice, but he returned to it repeatedly. It is the great lesson of the book: Trust sovereign God when you can’t understand why things go badly in life.
“For the Christian, even the worst trial is only temporary. Remember that truth, as you will be tempted to conclude that because there’s no end in sight, there is no end at all. Don’t believe it for a minute; God promises to lift you out.” John MacArthur
You are, truly, in my prayers.
In Christ
Here we go, more Peter!
THANK YOU, brother, for your prayers.
I was just talking about Job with someone today. What a HOPE we have knowing that all trial is temporary. Amen.